A while back I had lunch with a woman who had honored me to share my testimony at her women’s luncheon. I had just moved from California to Texas at the time of my speaking and felt unusually emotional in front of the microphone. I nearly always shed a few tears at some point in telling my story, and at this particular event, the tears streamed down my face.

I am very honest when I tell about the world I came from. For the sake of the women in the room, I don’t wear a perfect mask; instead, I share my experience from the heart. I intimately recall what it was like to call out to God I didn’t know from a place of sheer darkness, to be answered by Him, and to pass by faith into a life of light. Typically, I speak and write from the pit of my stomach, from the place that remembers well a life without God at the helm.

Over our debriefing luncheon, the woman commented that many women were moved by my testimony, but also asked if she could offer a correction.

“Absolutely,” I said, inching forward on the edge of my seat.

“The daughter of the King is not a victim, Jen,” she said, “She is a victor.”

At that moment I knew that as much as Christ had triumphed over my past, as much as God had restored my life with incredible blessing, I was at that time still speaking as a victim of the world. I was still giving more weight to the ways I was hurt than to the ways I’ve been healed. Why was it that I still shed tears when I told the story? Was I still hurt? Was I living like the wounded instead of the restored?

Many of you come from greater pains than I; many can’t even imagine life on earth without the Word as your guide. But if you have laid your life at the throne of Christ, you are given a beautiful, resplendent crown to wear, no matter where you come from.

Jesus came to “bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners … to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve … to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” Isa 61:1-3

Are you giving the brokenness in your heart more weight than the fact that God can bind it up? Are you giving more weight to the captivity of your past or the freedom of your future? The darkness you’ve been released from or the shackle-free life ahead? The mourning or the comfort? The grief or the provision? The old spirit of despair or the new garment of praise? The ashes or the crown?

Recently, I felt the Lord ask me a simple question: Which weighs more, Jen, the crown or the ashes? The ashes are our pasts: the hurts, the injustices, the debts owed us, the ruins of what we had once hoped for but didn’t bear fruit. The crown of beauty is our future: the healing, the purpose, the truth, our cancelled debt, forgiveness, and grace.

I have a beautiful crown I put on at some of my events to show women and girls the power of what it is to be a daughter of God. I think I’ll take a scale today and weigh some ashes and weigh that crown. Of course I already know which weighs more.

I refuse to put more weight on my ashes, for the past can’t tell us who we are. Instead, I lay hold of the crown of the Daughter of the King, which gives us an eternal identity and destiny. We are crowned in victory, hope, restoration, and joy. The crown of the faithful carries the weight of authority and purpose that no bucket of ashes could ever outweigh.

Today and in the days to come, choose the crown.

I will clothe his enemies with shame, but the crown on his head will be resplendent.”
Psalm 132:18

In God we trust: these words are stamped on every dollar we earn and spend. What do they mean?

Is to trust God the same as releasing your cancer-stricken daughter to heaven’s arms while at the same time believing He can heal her on earth? Is it to move across the world when you have no idea what could steal your heart on the other side? Is it to give Him your wounded marriage, believing it’s better in His hands than yours? Is it to proclaim that He will provide financially? Is it to believe that if you commit your dreams to Him, His dreams for you could far surpass your own?

Our forefathers stamped these words on each and every coin because they knew that God is the most solid foundation upon which to establish a nation. None of us can see the future; none knows what’s coming around the bend. So when the Word says of itself, “it is a lamp unto our feet,” we see that trusting God is like walking along a darkened road with a beam of light shining just beneath our footsteps. Without that beam of light, how can we see what step to take next?

If you’re anything like me, you have many things in your life that are shrouded in uncertainty. You do not know that important situations in your life will turn out as you hope. During times like this, I cling to these words:
“For God alone, O, my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken … Trust in him at all times … pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.” Psalm 62:5-8

To trust is to put the twists and turns of the coming path in His able hands. It is to believe that no matter what happens, He will not fail us. When we give God our pasts, our presents, and our futures, we are walking on solid ground. Only He is the sure foundation for our times (Isa 33:6). As the sands of life shift and change, if we are standing on solid rock, nothing will move us.

Trust is a moment-by-moment choice we make. It means opening up our palms and letting go of the things we want to cling to so badly. It means surrendering control and releasing outcomes; it means believing that as long as we place our hearts in the palm of His hands, all will be well.

When you don’t know what the coming days hold, pour out your heart to Him and He will lead you. And say these words again and again, maybe even with each coin and dollar that passes to and from your hands: In God we trust … In God we trust … In God we trust.

For further reading: Psalm 20:7-8; Psalm 25:2; Psalm 37:3-6; Proverbs 3:5-8

“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.” Psalm 37:5

Did you know the most commonly quoted verse on woman’s beauty is sandwiched by instructions on how to honor our husbands? Whether we’re married or not, we better hear this one. Real beauty is characterized by honor. I’m not talking about a new eye shadow, a new top, or new drapes; I’m talking about the way we speak to our men.

From the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. A heart of honor speaks with due submission; a heart of pride speaks with undue arrogance.

1 Peter 3:3-4 have been my “life verses”: “ “Do not let your adorning be external – the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear – but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” Following my history in the modeling industry, those words are a salve to my heart; all along I wanted to be worth more than just what people saw externally. I left the modeling industry upon receiving Christ, and have embraced this verse ever since.

How convenient that I would memorize verses 3 and 4 but not 1, 2, 5, and 6. After all, verses 1 and 2 called me to be “subject” to my husband, and even crazier for a speaker and author, to win my man over “without words” by my “respectful and pure conduct,” which would make me beautiful to him. Oh, how I tried many times to do that, but honestly it was easier to look as good as I could and not become overly concerned about my attitude. In my mind, verses 5 and 6 had little to do with beauty, for they stated that the holy women of the past adorned themselves with submission, obedience, and humility.

So when I got things all turned upside down in my marriage, God gently led me back to those favorite verses so He could turn things right side up.

As I began to honor my husband’s rightful place as the spiritual leader of our home, he took that role in stride; as I began to show him the respect due his position in my life, he began to tell me how beautiful I was; as I submitted to him even when I wasn’t sure, God blessed it with renewed love, commitment, and passion between us. The Lord literally reordered our household to be a reflection of His will for marriage, and we are so much happier.

I’ve learned the real meaning of beauty the hard way. Dishonor is ugly; honor is downright gorgeous.

When Jesus went to the cross, He went over the top showing honor. He made our clean slate more important than His pride – and His Father was the Creator of the universe, so He had reason to be quite proud. But He descended from heaven’s throne to take the lowly position of a common man, and bore on His body our dishonor so that we could be honored alongside Him in eternity.

One of my new favorite verses is “Outdo one another in showing honor” (Ro 12:10b). Honor is a choice. When we elevate others above ourselves, it’s beautiful, and we become reflections of the God we serve.

So today, and in the days to come, choose honor. It will make you look so pretty.
For further reading: Ex 20:12, 1 Sam 2:30, Rom 13:7, Heb 13:4, 1 Pe 2:17

“Honor everyone” 1 Pt 2:17a

December 26th has always been my favorite day of the year. Of course this makes no sense to my kids. They can’t imagine any day being better than Christmas.

But for me, it’s about the “pause.” It’s knowing I don’t have to go anywhere or do anything. There is no rush, no requirement. We can stay in our PJs all day if we want and play with our new toys; we can leisurely put things away or just make piles all over the house. We can nap; not answer the phone; pretend the whole world has stopped.

That’s what happened when Christ was born: the world stopped. Everything changed. Hope came down; peace became possible; love held new meaning. Of course the world has turned it all around and made Christmas so hectic that there seems no time for pause. In our rush, mankind even abbreviates it: “XMAS.” We literally “cross” the Christ out of Christmas.

No matter how many things I have to do in the month of December, I refuse to scribble through the word “Christmas”. It is about Christ’s coming and I will not cross that out. My entire life went on “pause” when Christ came into it. When God showed up on the path of my days, it’s as if someone took a picture that I forever treasure in my mind — it was the turning point. It was the end of the darkness and the beginning of the light. I can see it in my mind and my desire is to return to it always.

My husband Shane got a great gift from Santa this year: a picture of a baby pine growing up out of the snow in the shape of a cross — beneath which it is written, “Christmas began in the heart of God.” “I wish we could keep this up all year,” Shane said. Maybe we will. Maybe it would make us pause. God designed Christmas for the “pause,” for the time to reflect on the Savior of the world and the very personal meaning of His coming in each of our lives.

The world will not tell us to slow down, so it is up to us to create the time to sit around the tree and recall the memories each ornament represents; to make the time to read stories in front of the fire with our children or write down the thoughts of our hearts in love letters to those we cherish; to intentionally carve out the time to snuggle up with the Word and fill our cups with Living Water; to make the time to jot down goals for a new year and a new season; to put the world on “pause.”

I hope you take the time to pause before the New Year … and take time throughout the year … to pause.

Merry Christmas and Best to you 2010,

Jen

I AM PACKING UP to leave a place that is very dear to my heart today.  Our family moved to Lake Arrowhead, Ca about three years ago.  When we moved here, we did it simply because we felt drawn … “called by God,” even.

WHEN I CAME TO the mountain, I had no real vision of what I would find here or do.  I just knew I was supposed to come.  Three years later, I realize that I have been completely transformed here.  I am different in so many ways; I am new.

On this mountain, I have drawn near to the heart of God.  I have seen His goodness and His glory.  I have caught a vision that I could never have seen had I not come.  I have glimpsed something truly beautiful here in the company of beautiful women.  In this place, God has revealed to me my calling as a speaker and a writer; He has shown me a clear vison and given me a very specific message for the women and girls of this generation.  And by surrounding me with women whose hearts are filled with service and sacrifice, He has unearthed for me what it is to be truly beautiful in His eyes.

I wrote my book here. I saw the potential of its impact here.  I discovered my place in the Kingdom here.  I broke free here.  I faced the pain of my past here.  I healed here.  On this mountain, I grew into who I now know I am.  So it is painful to leave.  My heart is tearing.  It reminds me of the time that Jesus brought Peter up to the mountain, and Peter wanted to build a house for Jesus up there and stay!  And Jesus laughed at him, basically saying, now that you have seen my glory, we are going to go down the mountain and share it with the world.

Yet we are not saying goodbye. We are taking the beauty with us in our hearts.  I will carry all that I learned here into this next chapter.  As I pack my final boxes and put one foot in front of the other, I know with all my heart that Jesus brought me here to show me more of Himself, and that He now walks with me as I follow the narrow path.  When it’s hard, He will carry me.  And I truly believe He will continue to show me His goodness and faithfulness in new and exciting ways.

Have you been to the mountain lately? Have you gone some place to see God more clearly?  Have you sat still and glimsped His beauty?  Have you looked for him in the rustle of the leaves and the flutter of hummingbirds?  Have you sat at His feet or cried in His lap?  Have you set your face to the sun and said, “Show me what it is to know you!  Shine your face upon me and make a me a light in the world ….”

When we catch a vision, we are to take it down the mountain and to the world.  We should be grateful for the times of solace, but also carry what we learned wherever we go.  May the children of God seek His face and become so radiant, like Moses, with His goodness, that when we go down the mountain …. people see Him in us.

With great love,
Jen

When Joshua was on his way to the promised land, God told him to be strong and very courageous.  “As I was with Moses, so I will be with you,” He assured.  “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Jos !:5)  He told Joshua exactly what would lead to his success:  being careful to obey the law Moses gave him, and meditating on His Word day and night.  God commanded Joshua to be strong and courageous, to not be terrified or discouraged.  How?  Why?  Because the Lord his God would be with him wherever he went. (Joshua 1:5-9)

Times have changed in the U.S.

Things are different than they used to be.  Things are shifting.  Nothing seems reliable right now; nothing seems the same.  So many are groping around in the dark trying to find their sense of place.  So many losing their jobs and livelihoods, and so many are watching what they have worked for all their lives slip away.  People are hurting.  People are looking for a place to move where their families have a better chance, a better future.

What I learn from Joshua is that we are not to fear.  We are not to be discouraged … as hard as that is.  We are to be strong and courageous.  We are to focus on that which will never change:  the Living, breathing Word of God.  We are to obey His call on our lives, whatever that may be.  We are to pursue a relationship with Him.  But even more than that, we are simply to understand where the source of our courage lies:  in the fact that there is no place we can go where He will not be.  We are not alone.

Courage is a choice. As the famous saying goes:  “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the judgement that something is more important than fear.”  As Mark Twain said, “Courage is … acting in spite of it.” It is the understanding that something we believe in holds a stronger weight than the fear itself.  Courage in the face of fear is the only kind of courage there is.

“I will be with you wherever you go,” God told Joshua.  I believe He tells us that as well.  I am your God who will lead you through darkness; I am your God who will hold your hand as you enter new territory and go a way you have not gone before.  I will be with you.  I will never leave you. To me, that is comfort.  That is strength.  That is hope.  And it makes me want to face the future of infinite possibilities with a steadfast spirit.  It makes me want to put my face to the wind … and be very, very courageous.

Whatever uncharted territory you may be facing, I hope you will remember Joshua.  In obedience and devotion, in unwavering surrender and faith, he was prosperous and successful.  And he was never alone.  You will not be going a place where your Lord has never been.  He will be with you every step of the way.

In love,

Jen

In the middle of the storm, we cannot see. It is too foggy, windy and cold. Our vision is blurred by snowfall and rain. There is no light in the sky to give us direction, no clear blue to guide our way.

But when the storm has passed, all is still. Nothing moves. The trees are lopped with soft, heavy mounds of snow. The light shines through the tussled branches, a clear gold on the horizon.

When we do not know what is next for us, when we are afraid and yearning for clarity, when our minds are a confusing, conflicting mesh of voices and our hearts yearn for so many different desires, perhaps it is like the storm. We look for clarity, but cannot see.

When my children were babies and all was chaos, I used to walk around the house reciting this verse: “Seek peace and pursue it …. seek peace and pursue it!” (Psalms 34:14) At times there was no peace, and yet I was bound and determined to actively search for it. This past week, I have felt the same. I have felt torn and confused, my desires and dreams drawing me towards one thing and then another.

So I wake early, knowing that in the stillness of sitting quietly before God, he will give me peace. I pursue him. He meets me there. In the calm of the early morning, before anyone rises, I sense his comfort, hear his direction, heed to his promise that he will hold my hand and guide me where he wants me to go. The storm has passed. All is still.

Seek peace and pursue it. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Wait quietly for the storm to pass. When all is still, you will see clearly as you look into the mirror of his Word. You will sense his presence and hear his voice. Trust that voice. Do not be afraid. Light is on the horizon. In the stillness, you will know. And that knowing will fill you with an incredible peace. It is the peace of understanding that even when we cannot predict how it will all work out, our Lord knows, and that becomes enough for us.

In devotion to your growth and strength,
Jen

There are many things in life I wish I could freeze-frame: hearing my 5-year-old boy say I’m the best mom in the world while he buries his head in my shoulder; listening to the untainted voice of my daughter praying at night; gazing at the hopeful look in my husband’s eye as he tucks me into bed Christmas Eve; praying on our knees for strength and courage with our high school girls group. These things, oh, how I wish I could freeze-frame!

While there are some things we don’t really want to see change, I, for one, don’t want to stop time when it comes to my spiritual life. I want to grow. This year, I want my roots to grow deeper and my trunk, stronger (yes, I’m doing a lot of core exercises these days but I’m not talking about that! What I’m saying is this: in my walk with God, I don’t want to freeze-frame. I want to move forward; I want to grow.

Growth, like surrender, faith, and perseverence, is a choice. It is a choice to get up early and look into the Word; to get up from our desk chairs and get on our knees; to willingly cooperate with the transformative process God desires to do in each one of us. It’s a choice not to turn to alcohol, men, the mirror or money to somehow validate us and make us feel better about ourselves.

Choosing to grow means obedience to His call on our lives, surrender to His direction, even when it’s uncomfortable; and finally, it means being willing to do the work. Our pastor said something so funny the other day: he said it drives him nuts when people say they left a church because “they weren’t being fed there.” “Get up out of your spiritual highchair and feed yourself!” He scoffed. I love real talk in church! It’s true.

The most powerful way we can grow is through our personal study of the Word. It is the single most essential tool in our growth. It is the Living Water that nourishes our roots. But it doesn’t infiltrate the brain while you watch TV or play on Facebook! It takes a choice … to pick up that Bible, open it, and see all that you could be if you were rooted and established in His love above all else. My prediction: you could be better, stronger and bear the fruit you so desire — peace, patience, kindness, goodness, self-control …. oh, I’ll let you look it up! (Ps 1:1-3 … Eph 3:17 … Gal 5:22)

This year, I hope alongside me, you’ll make the choice to grow. Next year at this time, my hope is that we will all be stronger, wiser, and more deeply rooted in the love God has for us. For His love is the essense of our power, the source of our courage, and the fullness of our beauty.

In devotion to you,
Jen

“My heart was breaking for you and for all that your parents must feel reading this . . . .” I have been hearing, especially from women my mother’s age. They can not help but read my recently released book through a mother’s eyes.

Girl Perfect is a compilation of many pains, yes, this is true. But it is also a journey of many “freedoms.” The pain came from never being able to be that “perfect girl” the world expected of me. And the freedom came from accepting my imperfections by experiencing the vast love that came beaming, then showering, then thundering down on me from the heart of God.

I remind each woman whose heart broke along with mine of the big picture - that my life is unbelievably beautiful and purposeful now and that I have been redeemed. God has used all the broken pieces of my little-girl heart to create a mosaic lantern of light and hope for the next generation of girls in search of perfect.

I get the pain. I do. In the book, I purposefully returned myself to those places of pain to speak understanding into the lives of girls suffering from sexual abuse, eating disorders, the trap of drugs and alcohol, the pain of dreams that seem to have been lost and futures that are bleak compared to the hopeful, sunshine-filled ideals of their youth.

But I went back to those places of hurt - over and over with each round of editing - in order to paint a clear picture of redemption for you, to paint a picture of how far God will go to rescue your daughter, sister, friend, mother, or you, from the darkest of nights, and how lovingly He looks upon us even in our deepest despair. I did it to say to you: I know what it is to feel trapped, violated, starved and alone.

And I know what it is to feel loved, valued, cherished and died for. I know what it is to be healed, made whole, filled and set free.So when I think about my own past, I choose redemption.

What about you? Are you choosing redemption? Are you laying it all at the foot at the cross and saying, I choose forgiveness, I choose freedom, I choose the cleansing blood that makes me white as snow, and I choose new life? Or are you holding onto the stuff that hurts, that makes you angry and bitter? Are you carrying it? Or burying it?

As one who has both “carried” and “buried,” I speak from experience: lay it all at His nail-pierced feet and let Him take it for you, and choose redemption.
It will set you free!

I am walking down the aisle in the airport when I get rushed by an overwhelming feeling: the girl in the big black sunglasses carrying the Louis Vuitton bag needs to read Girl Perfect. That woman, barely able to walk upright, balancing her overly large breast implants with high heels and way too much collagen in her lips, needs to read my book. So does that teen girl with pink hair in the corner, looking angry and staring at her laptop, immersed in MySpace while her mother talks nonstop on her cell phone. Now that I think of it, her mom could read it too.

The pink-haired girl reminds me of the line of girls tortured by bulimia and anorexia and sexual abuse that I met at last week’s conference. I have this insane urge to run through the airport passing out books and screaming, “There is a better way! There is a better way! Take this! It will bring you hope!”

I suddenly understand crazy people with megaphones on the side of the street.

I resist these unrealistic urges but they still linger while I board the plane. The lady sitting next to me in the white Juicy sweatsuit, entranced in the latest Michael Crichton mystery, could probably dig her teeth into my crazy adventures, and maybe that would inspire her towards God. The guy sitting on the other side of me begins talking about his sister who is living with her boyfriend and their baby, struggling to get by. Then during a lull, we both pull out our books, and I read mine, the very first time reading the final copy. Right before we land, he starts telling me how he just met his girlfriend at a local modeling agency and wants to help her to honor God with her life.

Without a word from me, he asks about the book on my lap. “Oh, it’s about this girl who had all this pressure to be perfect and it just took her over until finally she found the only Perfect there is.”

There are so many things we as people want to control. Personally, I spent an insane amount of time pouring my guts out in this book, with desperation and tears and dreams that it could change someone’s life. And now, I want to figure out some brilliant plan to get it in the hands of every person in the airport. But the truth is, that is out of my control.

On the flight home, an old man from Alaska sits next to me. Without me asking, he claims that he has spent his life building some clever contraption that will free our country’s dependence on fuel; he is trying with all his might to figure out how to get it in the hands of the people. In a weird way, I understand. We all have our passions. We all have our dreams - those things that we believe will leave the world a better place. All I can say to the old man is give your invention to Palin! And then, trust God with the rest!

“Wasn’t this God’s book from the very beginning?” a friend asked me a few days ago. “Now give it back to Him.”

So I lay it at His feet. It is His gift to me, and I give it back. What happens is beyond my control. God can part the Red Sea for it if He wants, or He can use it touch one girl and that is all. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that today, I choose surrender.

There is something in your life that you need to surrender control over. It may be a child, a marriage, a plan, a hope or a dream. It may be an addiction to self, or to drugs or to a guy. It may be that you are suffering in silence over something and have yet to speak of it. It may simply be an acceptance that the future is in His hands and He will do nothing outside of His great love for you. Let’s make a choice to surrender - all.
And then, He can surprise us! And we can say, Wow, Lord, I never could have seen that coming!